Songs I've Listened to on Repeat Because the Struggle is Real
1. Oh Ms. Believer, Twenty One Pilots
This song has been one of my favorites since I was 16. It’s very mellow, starting with a solo a cappella voice and a light tambourine before electronic strings come in with the underlying chords. Finally, the rhythm joins with piano and light snare drum. There are two rounds of verses and chorus, with long instrumental sections in between. The melody is in a major key, but there’s something reserved about it. It’s not quite happy, not quite sad, but there is a melancholy tone. The lyrics talk about walking alongside someone you care about on a cold wintery day as you both reflect upon your struggles.
For me, this song brings me back to my junior year of high school, when my brother had just barely left for his year as an exchange student in Germany. Twenty One Pilots was his favorite band and had been for a few years but I had never cared for the music I heard—much too electronic and hard, verging on rap and screamo. However, I discovered this song right before he left, and it was a completely contrasting sound to the songs I heard and were popular at the time (like “Stressed Out”). I completely vibed with the chill, soft nature of the song, and it became a real comfort to me that year as I missed my brother and went through many major life-changing experiences. While the song invokes images of loneliness, it’s the blanket of peace that comes from walking along a snow-covered path by yourself, or maybe one other person you truly care about. It’s snowing softly, and the snow is reflecting the streetlights so that it’s completely bright even though it should be pitch black outside. It’s soft, still, and you can almost see yourself reflected back in the fresh snow.
2. Get Me Away From Here, I’m Dying, Belle and Sebastian
This song is very different from the first but this is my go to finals week song.
Get me away from here, I’m dying,
Play me a song to set me free.
Nobody writes them like they used to,
So it may as well be me.
These humorously relatable opening lyrics speak for themselves. They are accompanied by a chipper guitar riff and light percussive rhythm. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure what the rest of the lyrics mean but it ends with a repeat of “Oh, get me away, I’m dying” over and over until it fades off with the end of the song.
This song reminds me of my high school crush because it was on a playlist of seven favorite songs, he sent me before leaving on his mission. Those seven songs led me to pretty much all the rest of the music I listen to regularly even now. This song, in particular, invokes feelings of senioritis–a doneness with school, or work, or whatever is dragging you through life at that moment.
3. Awake My Soul, Mumford & Sons
This was a favorite song of mine in high school. I can’t remember the specific circumstances in which I gravitated to it so much, but I listened to it many times. I liked the alternative folk vibe of their music, but this song struck me for its more reserved, quiet nature. It was still “folksy”, but much less intense than many of their other songs from that album. This song is just very calming; the pulsing piano takes away my stress and just makes me feel at peace.
Another favorite song from high school, listening to this song made me feel like I was in a sad music video. You’ll notice a theme of many of these songs is a pulsing, rhythmic guitar… I think I must find this style of music reassuring because so much of what I listen to falls into this genre. I also like that this song is romantic, but not gushy. It’s a longing for a love that’s a far way off, a feeling I began to experience in high school. “For you I’d wait, til kingdom come. / Until my day, my day is done. / And say you’ll come and set me free. / Just say you’ll wait; you’ll wait for me.” Man, this still hits 8 years later as I’m just waiting for the right man to walk into my life.
5. I Won’t Give Up, Jason Mraz (A Cappella cover by Peter Hollens)
This is another of a few songs that are directly connected to one of the three long absences my brother has taken throughout our lives as he’s gone where the Lord called him. This one I associate with his time as an exchange student in Germany at 15. This song was covered by a cappella singer Peter Hollens and featured on his first album that we had playing on repeat in our minivan. After sending off her 15-year-old halfway across the world to live with a different family in a foreign country, my mom found a lot of comfort in this song every time it came on in the car, and I remember driving back from the airport after dropping him off listening to this song and collectively crying. For us, this song represented hope that we’d get Seth back again and he would still be the same Seth we sent off: mature but not super different.
Another favorite song that I associate with my brother, this song was shared with me from the same, previously mentioned high school crush. It is folksy verging on country, heavy with guitar picking and riffs. It shares the story of a general sacrificing himself to preserve his troops and that of the enemy’s as he states “I have seen the others and I have discovered that this fight is not worth fighting. / And I’ve seen their mothers and I will no other to follow me where I’m going.” At 17 my brother joined the United States Marine Corps reserves and I listened to this song on repeat while he was at bootcamp, as well as while he was serving his mission. Obviously, the military themes were reminiscent of the type of soldier I hoped he would be in the face of battle, but I just loved the character reflected in the General as one who doesn’t want to waste the lives of young sons.
7. In a Week (feat. Karen Crowley), Hozier
Hozier is a recent favorite artist that just speaks to my English major and romantic soul. This duet between Andrew Hozier and Karen Crowley is soft, tender, and full of romantic longing. I’ve listened to this and other Hozier songs many times throughout my single 20s as his poetic verse and tender guitar speaks to the desire for a person whom I can love even after death. This song in particular speaks of a bond that cannot decay even when bodies have long been consumed by forest creatures. Gosh I want to love like that.
After my mission in Japan, I stumbled across this Japanese band and their album “The Name of the Beast”. To be honest, I’ve never found a good English translation for this song so I’m entirely sure what it really means but I love the mellow vibe and (you guessed it) steady guitar. This was the first Japanese band I found that wrote music that was similar to the English music I like (as you have well heard from this playlist). With this song I can just chill out and vibe, practice picking out words and phrases in Japanese that I can understand. I listen to this song a lot when I want to vibe and pretend I’m in an anime.
9. Here is Hope, Rob Gardner (from his oratorio, The Lamb of God)
This song was important to me when I was going through a rough patch with my first boyfriend. It comes from Rob Gardner’s oratorio, The Lamb of God, and is sung by Mary, mother of Jesus, right after the crucifixion. Although she has just witnessed the Son of God–her son, being sacrificed and crucified in the most horrific manner, she has hope for the resurrection. I remember sitting in a hot tub by myself, sobbing as I listened to this song and felt hope that things could work out. They didn’t really, for that relationship anyway, but nonetheless it was the reminder to rely on my Savior that I needed during that difficult time. Although that relationship didn’t patch up, I learned so much, and the lyrics of “Here is Hope” continue to be a strength to me during trials and difficult times.
10. You Are My Sunshine, Johnny Cash
And we come to the last song on our album. This song was a favorite of mine during covid and throughout my brother’s mission. He had sung this one just prior to leaving and it continued to remind me of him throughout the rest of his absence. As you can probably tell, my brother and I are very close. Age-wise we’re only 18 months apart, so I had never known life without him until his exchange and although each time he left–exchange, bootcamp, and mission–became easier, he was still my best friend and I missed him. This song is cheerful, although when you actually listen to the lyrics it’s quite sad. I just enjoyed the mellow-nostalgic guitar and Johnny Cash’s deep voice. And unlike the subject of the song, I knew my brother would be coming back. Now I can force him to play it for me whenever I want.
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